Perfect Two RIP Brenda & Tahlia♥

Over this past weekend two beautiful young girls died in a car accident. I didn’t know these girls, but that doesn’t make this tragedy any less sad. From what I have read and seen about these two, is that they were as beautiful inside as they were on the outside. Brenda and Tahlia were best friends and always together. They made a video to the song Perfect Two by Auburn, and the video is very cute. When I watched I couldn’t help but cry because they were too young to die.

People have no right to be jack asses about this. The roads were bad out that night, and it could have happened to ANYONE! Kids at the local schools wore black today and tomorrow they will wear white in honor of the girls. I have seen a few different videos about the girls and they are all wonderful. They made me think about my life and it does make me realize that life is too short. You should live everyday like it’s your last no matter what. There isn’t much I can say about this other than I am sorry the girls died. My deepest sympathy goes out to the friends and family of Brenda & Tahlia. When I first heard about the death of the girls it made me think of some lyrics of a song by Kenny Chesney called I go back .

“And I go back to the loss of a real good friend
and the sixteen summers I shared with him
Now "Only The Good Die Young" stops me in my tracks
Every time I hear that song, I go back, I go back”

I heard today that the girls will be buried next together, and I couldn’t help but think how wonderful that was. The girls were always together, and they didn’t die alone, and now they will forever be together. In the video near the end was a clip from a facebook post by Brenda that said “If you want me to stay, I’ll never leave-with Tahlia” she tagged Tahlia in that post only 7 days before they passed away together. Brenda & Tahlia I never knew you, but you will NEVER be forgotten. You were the “Perfect Two”. I will be praying for your friends and family.

When a friend of mine died in high school, someone gave me this verse and it was very comforting.

^“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Rest in Peace Brenda and Tahlia, you will be missed very much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-meUL_GOphU&feature=related

Saving Grace

Well I have a cat, and her name is Grace. I adopted her in May of 2010. She was abused, but i wont get into the long story on here.

I love this cat, she cracks me up! Sometimes I swear she thinks she’s a dog. She plays catch, and goes to the door to greet you and does this weird roll thing. Anyways she likes to be with people. I mean if I am home alone she is right next to me and when I go to the bathroom to shower or get ready or whatever she is right there with me. I have to leave the door open or she will sit out there and meow and put her paw under the door until you let her in.

She loves to be in the bathroom when I take a shower, but when I turn the water off she starts meowing. She loves to look into the toilet right after I flush it. This cat is so strange. She absolutely LOVES Jesse! No matter what she is doing or where she is at, if she knows he is here she comes running and won’t leave his side. my grandma feeds this squirrel every morning, and she named him pudgy. Grace sits at the kitchen window when pudgy is outside and just glares at him! She knows when it’s feeding time and it’s almost like she is jealous of pudgy. Grace is so funny sometimes. Anyways I will put a few pictures up of my cat, because sometimes she is a camera whore lol!



They always take naps together lol!



Yes, she is in my underware drawer. She does lay in it often



This is pudgy on the back deck eating breakfast. And yes I did take this pucture





Birthdays, Tuxes and more

So it is now Saturday, and it is 7:53am. I am so tired I could honestly pass out, so forgive me if some of this is rambling on. I worked last night and didn’t get home till 5:30am and then made a little picture book on Shutterfly.com and it took longer than I thought it would.Anyways, this was a busy week for us. Saturday the 11^th I met with a photographer and I am happy to say that we now have our photographer booked! Our photographer’s name is Melody. She has just a little photography business, and is just starting out, but her pictures are beautiful! I am super excited to have her photograph our wedding day. We are still looking for a DJ though…ughhhh…haha. Planning our wedding is a lot harder then what I thought it was going to be.

Monday was my 20^th birthday!! YAYY!!!!! That means only 360 more days until I am no longer a child as Jesse likes to put it : )I didn’t get to just relax and have fun on my birthday, I really wanted to get a mani/pedi because the last one I had was back in October ( thank God it’s not flip flop season yet). To begin my day I woke up with lots of text messages from friends and stupid notifications from FB telling me Happy Birthday. I did get to sleep in, but we had to go to Men’s Wearhouse so Jesse could get fitted for his tux, and to try to set up appointments for the rest of the guys to go and get fitted too.

We finally decided on our colors for the wedding, well I decided haha! I kept changing my mind on what colors I really wanted, and then I figured I should do my favorite color. My favorite color is purple btw. So I am 100% sure that Regency(DB color purple) is our main color for the wedding. I was trying to figure out if I wanted to do another color with the purple and I thought of doing purple and champagne…I am not sure if we will just have some accents of champagne or not yet, but Regency is for sure our main color.

Monday night Alyssa, Becca, and myself all went to DB for them to try on dress for the wedding and I am pleased to say that after about 20 or so dresses we finally got the BM dresses. I am so in love with the dress I kind of want to order one for myself! I was going to bring my flower girls with us, but I figured it wouldn’t be the best idea because I held Kylie the whole time the girls were playing dress up. I promised the girls I wouldn’t put pictures on of them in the dresses, but I will put the picture from DB at the end.

Tuesday was Valentine’s Day, and I wasn’t expecting to do too much because I felt like crap because of my medication. We didn’t end up going to dinner until 7:30 and when we got to Outback we waited an hour before we even got a table. The food was so good; I didn’t mind waiting all that long. After dinner Jesse took me to see The Vow. I am so happy I put an extra pack of tissues in my purse because I used the rest of one pack and started the new pack. The movie was so good though I don’t care I cried for about half the movie. I definitely recommend going to see this movie.

Wednesday night I worked, and then Thursday I went to the doctor and she said the medication seemed to be helping. She upped my dosage, so I have been best friends with my toilet again lol. She talked about this medication she wanted to put me on called Clomid. I did a little research on this medication, and basically it helps your body release eggs. The only down fall or blessing to this medication depending on how you look at it is you can end up with multiples. I told her I did NOT want to start this medication right now. I lost 10 lbs. I knew I gained a few back, but not a big deal. She said 10lbs in 3 months is a healthy amount of weight loss(I wish it would have been more, but I am proud of myself). I don’t have to go back for six months and then she said we will most likely start the clomid.

Well that’s about all the news for this week, not too exciting. Next week is Jesse’s birthday, so I will probably make him a cake or something and I am talking him to get pizza in Freeport. The pizza is DELICIOUS! So I am sure another pound or 2 will creep up. No more birthdays or holidays for me to gain more weight haha!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and week!

The link is for the BM dresses...the color will be Regency!

 http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Long-Sheer-Chiffon-Dress-with-Beaded-Neckline-F14867_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses

Busy as a bee!!

I have been neglecting my blog for some time now, and I am very sorry. I have been so busy with work, and figuring out if I am going to go back to school, planning the wedding, bills and blah blah blah. Anyways I am going to try to post at least once a week. Even if the post isn’t much, just to try and keep everyone up to date with planning the wedding and everyday life.

My grandma had knee replacement surgery on January 31. She is currently in a nursing home for therapy, because we have so many steps in our house. I have been trying to get up there every day to see her, but with work and everything it is hard. She is doing great however, and on Monday Alyssa and I get to watch our weekly shows with her.

My 20^th Birthday is Monday! Super excited for that. The only down side to the 13^th is that I planned dress shopping with my brides maids on Monday, and for Jesse to try on tuxes that day too. So rather than relaxing and doing what I want, I get to do stuff for the wedding ALL day. Valentine’s Day we don’t have any plans that I know of, but who knows what he has planned. I do know that we are going to see The Vow next week sometime! YAYYY!!!!!

The 16^th I have my doctor’s appointment. I am so not looking forward to that, but hopefully ill get some good news back.

The 19^th is our birthday party. When I say our, I mean my cousin Alyssa and I. every year we have a birthday party together because we were born 12 days apart, so it is just easier on everyone if our parties are together.

The 22^nd is Jesse’s 25^th birthday! I am hoping to get him a surprise gift. I would say what it is, but sometimes he likes to look at my blog posts. I plan on making him a cake or something along those lines for him, and then take him out for steaks one night.

The 26^th is a surprise party for my great grandma. I will be posting pictures of some things that she gave Jesse and I for us after we get married. I LOVE the dish set she is giving us. She also gave us 2 flutes for us to drink out of at our reception. I am planning to etch our names and wedding date onto them sometime soon.

February is a busy month for us! We are supposed to meet with a photographer sometime this month as well, and a DJ. Ughh wedding stuff is very stressful!

For all my Ohio family, I would love to send you all a save the date, if you want one….if so send me a message on facebook with your addresses. If not, don’t feel like you have to take one. I am hopefully going to scan some of our engagement pictures onto my laptop soon so everyone can see them.

So I will be making a few posts this coming week, and TRY to stay on top of my blog and updating everyone on wedding plans! Only 8 more months!!!!

Beautiful inside and out?

I decided to take a shower this morning rather than tonight just to get it out of the way. Most people have mirrors in their bathrooms, and ours just happens to be right in front of the shower; obviously I look in it. Well most people would think given my size that I am really unhappy with the way I look. That’s not the case I don’t hate the way I look. If you would of asked me how I felt about the way I looked 6 months ago, I would of told you I hated what I saw when I looked into the mirror. I didn’t really make any drastic new year’s resolutions this year because it’s honestly pointless. Most people can stick with them for MAYBE 3 month’s tops. So I decided to make only a few, and I didn’t really announce it to anyone because it’s not really a big deal.

The first one that I made was to simply love myself for who I am and what I look like. I realized that I will NEVER be a size 2 no matter how small I am or how hard I try. God didn’t make me to be a size 2! My family mainly on my dad’s side is big boned. Nothing you can change about that, you just have to accept it. That doesn’t make them or me any less beautiful. If someone doesn’t like the way you look oh well! It is not the end of the world. For a long time I have struggled with my weight.

When I went to the doctor in November I was at my heaviest weight EVER. I cried after I left my appointment because I was ashamed at how big I had let myself get. Yes that’s right I LET myself get that big. McDonalds didn’t force those fries down my throat; Taco Bell didn’t put a gun to my head to make me eat an extra taco. I ate too much food. Why? Because I LOVE food. Having PCOS didn’t make me fat. Having PCOS just made it very hard for me to lose weight, and believe me I have tried many times before.

I only made 2 this year because I didn’t feel the need to make more. I know I am only writing about one, but the other one is just a personal one that I don’t feel the need to share with everyone.  My ultimate goal is to be 130lbs, but I do have a long way to go before I am that small. My goal for right now is for my wedding dress to be too big. I know its sill, but it would mean so much to me, when I go in for my first fitting and for it to be too big. I am not changing for anyone but myself. If you don’t like the way I look just keep it to yourself. I don’t need negative feedback from anyone. Jesse loves me for me, no matter if I am 100lbs or 300lbs.  Up until now I haven’t been ready to face the fact that I am fat. Not chubby, chunky, heavy or anything simply fat and I know that. But you know what I am ok with that; for now. Sense November I have lost a total of 15lbs. it’s not much, but it’s a start, and I am so happy that I am finally able to lose weight.

 I am starting a new diet that my doctor recommended next week (it’s stupid to start a diet in the middle of the week) so hopefully by October I will be smaller. I don’t have a goal weight for October because if I don’t achieve it I won’t beat myself up over it. As long as I keep losing it I will be happy even if it’s one lb a week. Roam wasn’t built over night, and I won’t be a “bombshell” over night either. The number on the scale DOES NOT make me who I am, or determine my beauty.

I found this on Pintrest and I really liked it alot!

Oh Sweet Canvas!

Once again Pintrest inspired me to make 2 new projects, although I really only like the way one of them turned out I will post the like to one of my inspirations at the end of my post.

This is my favorite!
The quote is on our save the date




Add caption

Both of my projects are the same concept just different quotes and methods to do them. The first one I did was taking my blank canvas and sticking letters onto it and then spray painting over it. Nothing fancy about it really.. Although I did figure out those stickers don’t stick to a blank canvas very well. So if you decided to do this project paint your canvas first with white paint or whatever color paint you want to show up after you remove the letters. My original plan was to take the stickers off after the spray paint dried, except for some reason (probably because I skipped the painting the canvas step) the spray paint ended up bleeding under the letters so I couldn’t peal the letters of, so I kept the colorful letters on the canvas.

My second project was just a spur of the moment kind of thing. I did a painting awhile back and really liked it when I first did it, but now I hate it. So I decided to do the same project on my big canvas, but with a different quote. I LOVE the way this on turned out. It is way better then the first one by far.

The second project took a bit more time then the first one because I had to peal all the letters off. Fyi if you decide to do this one, make sure you take the letters off with the paint still wet, because if you let the paint dry it is really hard and annoying to get the letters off. I used a razor blade and my finger nails (which are now black and gross because of it). The letters slid under my finger nails a few times while removing them so now the tips of my fingers hurt and I had to cut my nails : (
http://2pawsdesigns.blogspot.com/2011/09/canvas-quote-art.html



This one is ok but I really like how it looks after!

 

Insomnia:2 Ashley:0

Thursday night after I got home from work insomnia decided to pay me a visit AGAIN!! I hate not being able to sleep and these past 2 weeks or so, I just haven’t been feeling like myself. Well usually when I can’t sleep I bake, or make a new art project. I decided to FINALLY make my dad cake balls again. The first time I made cake balls was when Becca was about 6 months pregnant so September possibly. The cake balls we made took forever because we did everything by hand, but boy were they good! This time I actually used a cake pan that already shaped them into balls. The only downside to that is I didn’t think they were very moist, but my family loved them so that’s all that matters. I had lots of left over chocolate from the coating that I decided to make chocolate covered strawberries too..YUMM!!!

 

 After I finished baking, I thought I would be nice and clean the kitchen, and do the dishes. Around 9:30am my dad asked if I could baby sit so he and my uncle could go to Menards. So I got to play with y little cousin all morning. She is just a little ham! She always cracks me up when I see her. I asked her if she wanted to help bring in water bottles with me and she went down stairs with me and when she would put a bottle in the bag she would clap and smile.

Around 2 I finally went to sleep, but had to be up so I could go to work by 9 that night. I got early though so I actually was able to get some sleep, because Saturday I was up all night again! I honestly don’t know what’s going on. Saturday night Jesse and I went to his best friend’s house to see them for awhile, but we didn’t end up leaving until 2:30am so again no sleep on Saturday night because I got on my laptop to only check my email, and ended up on facebook and Pintrest. Well I got the notion to do some craft projects. I am making another blog right after this with pictures and detail of what I did.

Sunday I spent most of the day doing 2 projects. Every Sunday night we watch Once Upon A Time on abc..I love that show, but I was so tired because I still hadn’t went to sleep that I started nodding off in between commercials. Well Jesse made a pizza for dinner for us and I sat down to watch the newest episode of Grimm with him, and I made it maybe 10 minutes into the show and knew I needed to go to bed. So I went to sleep finally, he said It probably took about 3 minutes for me to fall asleep, I was BEYOND tired. So after I woke up today jesse came over and we went to the mall and out to lunch and I came home and finished my project.

Dinner is now cooking, we will watch The Lying Game at 8 and then I go to work….such an eventful life : )